When I was 5 years old, my family went to an abstract art exhibit in Seattle while on a family vacation. I don’t have a clear memory of this, but my Dad told a story many times over the years about an incident that happened there:
As the family walked through the exhibit, they noticed that
I was missing. There was a bit of a panic as they searched for me. When they
found me two rooms back staring up at a wall-size abstract art piece, shaking my
head, Dad asked me, “Verlene, is something wrong?” I replied, “I guess he did
the best he could…” Here is an abstract
painting that was in that exhibit, although I don’t know if this was the one I
was found staring up at:
(Romare Bearden: Abstraction)
With my Dad telling that story several times, it really took
root in me, and became my motto for everything I learned to do growing up and
as an adult. It’s also my motto in my private teaching. Doing the best you can
is really more important than the best in the world – and as a bonus, it’s
actually achievable!
This maybe made me less competitive since I was more
concerned about doing my best than being better than anyone else, but I still
struggle from time to time with not feeling “good enough.”
Even doing your best can be a challenge when there is a lot
of negative input from others. That can sneak into our own way of thinking and
add to any self-doubt and sense of not being good enough.
Years (decades) later, I was in a class at San Jose State
University that was a performance class (theater, not music) and a student in
the class was perpetually unprepared. The professor finally said (in an
exasperated tone) “Who do you think you are? Your own worst enemy?” She went on
to tell the whole class that we are only sabotaging ourselves by not preparing.
She said, “You need to be your own best friend.” I took that line and her advice
and wrote a song called Your Own Best Friend, so that whenever I might experience
self-doubt, I could sing this to myself as a reminder.
Here is a Spotify link: https://open.spotify.com/track/01NOOcCvnz4ISIqqyJQcxs?si=bc2e1881ccfc44e3
And here’s a YouTube link (just the song with the album
cover as a visual):
https://youtu.be/TA5nrYBgis4?is=tqHou557_Zqb2bwf
And of course, here are the lyrics so you can sing along:
Your
Own Best Friend
© 1998
Verlene Schermer
No one wants to keep you from
success
Be, instead, your own best friend,
encouragement enhances
Tell yourself to do your very best
A friend would want you only to
succeed
And lift your hands up, and feel the
fear subside
Cause love is all we ever really
need
A loving friend would want you to
succeed
‘Cause who are you to tell yourself
such lies?
A friend would tell you to be well
prepared for what is lying
Up ahead and out beyond the skies!
A friend would want you only to
succeed
And lift your hands up, and feel the
fear subside
Cause love is all we ever really
need
A loving friend would want you to
succeed
Bridge: Don’t make excuses, there’s nothing to excuse
Don’t
listen to those who say you’re bound to lose,
‘Cause who’s telling you that!
Ch: Just lift your head up, and feel the sunlight
A friend would want you only to
succeed
And lift your hands up, and feel the
fear subside
Cause love is all we ever really
need
A loving friend would want you to
succeed
Tag: So don’t be your own enemy…
This song is on my Rendezvous CD. If you’d like
the whole CD (either the physical CD or downloadable mp3s) you can find it on
my website at: https://verlene.com/rendezvous.html
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